there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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