That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
