walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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