My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
operation harelip BJ is a go
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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