R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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