I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm like, not good at living.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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