i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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