I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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