the new term for farting is butt boxing.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
True college students do jello shots in the library
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
