i don't like sucking hair
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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