It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
