did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
