When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
