Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
