I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
