I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
