420 ftw
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize