Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Even my vagina gasped.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
