Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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