If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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