Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
