Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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