This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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