I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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