Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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