Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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