i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize