are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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