Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
