guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
