Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
