You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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