I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hippo gnu deer
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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