she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
