After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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