Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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