well you can't waste a boner
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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