Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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