Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just invented taco cereal.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
