only if we run a train.
done.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
