I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
