in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
