as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This is classic penis vs brain.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
MIDGETS
????
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
