i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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