Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
COCAINE IS GR8
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