OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
