He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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