she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
where does the pee come out of this thing
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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