Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
