Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I stole a fireplace last night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize