Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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