My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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