i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize