And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
