I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
