You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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