my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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