I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
