I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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