Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
