she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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