Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize