He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
