You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize