At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
