bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
