its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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