Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
