GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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