i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize